Monday, October 8, 2012
Bff I'm sitting in bed at one AM crying and I want you to know everything I said has nothing to do with you. Its my mental problems and I just couldn't let myself keep treating you the way I have been. You don't deserve it. You deserve the most amazing boyfriend or girlfriend there is. You don't need to deal with the crying scared failure at college. I have been so mean to you it makes me sick inside and I can't let myself keep doing this to you. I love you I stupidly decided that the best way to save you from me was to push you away. In the end I just don't want you to give up on whatever it is that you have for me. Just don't let me hurt you anymore. I want so much to be with you but I cannot stand by when I am this horrible to you. You are the reason I am alive at all and without your friendship I have no reason to live at all. Please never leave me alone I feel like I am having a heart attack right now for a reason... I read the whole letter and the other one too, I don't think I will ever miss T again when I have been so amazingly fortunate to have you anywhere in my life. I miss you more than anything you are my friend my love and my family. Goodnight to the most wonderful gift any lovesick boy could ask for and the sweetest friend on the planet.